The kind of words you use, especially when you're criticising someone's work, makes such difference - harsh words especially fulfill their purpose of putting you down in ways that it takes some time for the constructive advice (if any) to sink in. And I'm not talking of face to face conversation, I'm talking about a review of my work by a school teacher, who is of course in the right to change anything she wants in my script since I am talking about her subject.
But I'm struck by the rudeness. In India, Mumbai among all others, schools specialise in strict disciplinary methods used to control a classroom that more often than not will have more than 40 kids. When I was a student, there was constant shouting and bullying that many teachers - often unskilled ones - would do when they weren't simply reading out the lessons to us. Very few over the years have offered me any constructive advice. The ones who did made me write better, read as many books from the library as I could, instead of picking the thinnest book and keeping it in the bag until the week was up and it had to be checked in. Many school teachers did not think twice before slamming a wooden ruler across a child's knuckles. Now, I don't know if they're reining in the impulse to do some physical harm but their words sure aren't.
My reviewer seems to scream down her criticism at me. Instead of something like "What are you trying to say?" it comes across like "What the hell do you mean?" I can understand not being able to control a retort when in a classroom and speaking it (although no one would expect a school teacher to say something like that), rather than sitting here reading a few lines and even if you're angry that I didn't know better than to write a dumb thing like that, you still have a few seconds to collect your thoughts and write a review comment. When you say things like "What did they do? Ate? Chewed? Gobbled?" I can almost hear the person saying "you moron" at the end. I don't mind the criticism, I'm no expert. I don't even mind the grammatical or language mistakes, if someone points them out I do get embarrassed and try not to do it again once I've corrected it. But the blurt out question review comment takes some time to sink in. The rest of her comments aren't civil either. Actually I don't expect anything other than just telling me what's wrong with it as plainly as possible. I just don't like when plain is like that first question which just put me in a not so good mood for the rest of the ride.
I have a tendency to be a little sensitive. And I realise that teachers are not always in the best of moods, horribly long hours, never-ending workload and not everyone is in it for the satisfaction - a classroom of some bratty kids would soon kill it. But I do realise that writing takes longer than just blurting it out. And fewer people realise that it can really do something it hadn't intended to do.
I'd done it myself when I'd criticised a friend for something that he did which hurt me but I wish I hadn't put it in an email. Or that I'd been more considerate than if I were talking to him. I just shot it off, reading it once to make sure he got the message but I was too hardheaded to accept the hurt that could come along with it. When it did come, I was amazed that he didnt see the point to my letter. When I got over my own selfishness, of course, the regret came and I wish I'd never done that. And even if you delete the email, it doesn't kill the bad feelings.
Or maybe I just need to develop a thicker skin....I dont know.
But I'm struck by the rudeness. In India, Mumbai among all others, schools specialise in strict disciplinary methods used to control a classroom that more often than not will have more than 40 kids. When I was a student, there was constant shouting and bullying that many teachers - often unskilled ones - would do when they weren't simply reading out the lessons to us. Very few over the years have offered me any constructive advice. The ones who did made me write better, read as many books from the library as I could, instead of picking the thinnest book and keeping it in the bag until the week was up and it had to be checked in. Many school teachers did not think twice before slamming a wooden ruler across a child's knuckles. Now, I don't know if they're reining in the impulse to do some physical harm but their words sure aren't.
My reviewer seems to scream down her criticism at me. Instead of something like "What are you trying to say?" it comes across like "What the hell do you mean?" I can understand not being able to control a retort when in a classroom and speaking it (although no one would expect a school teacher to say something like that), rather than sitting here reading a few lines and even if you're angry that I didn't know better than to write a dumb thing like that, you still have a few seconds to collect your thoughts and write a review comment. When you say things like "What did they do? Ate? Chewed? Gobbled?" I can almost hear the person saying "you moron" at the end. I don't mind the criticism, I'm no expert. I don't even mind the grammatical or language mistakes, if someone points them out I do get embarrassed and try not to do it again once I've corrected it. But the blurt out question review comment takes some time to sink in. The rest of her comments aren't civil either. Actually I don't expect anything other than just telling me what's wrong with it as plainly as possible. I just don't like when plain is like that first question which just put me in a not so good mood for the rest of the ride.
I have a tendency to be a little sensitive. And I realise that teachers are not always in the best of moods, horribly long hours, never-ending workload and not everyone is in it for the satisfaction - a classroom of some bratty kids would soon kill it. But I do realise that writing takes longer than just blurting it out. And fewer people realise that it can really do something it hadn't intended to do.
I'd done it myself when I'd criticised a friend for something that he did which hurt me but I wish I hadn't put it in an email. Or that I'd been more considerate than if I were talking to him. I just shot it off, reading it once to make sure he got the message but I was too hardheaded to accept the hurt that could come along with it. When it did come, I was amazed that he didnt see the point to my letter. When I got over my own selfishness, of course, the regret came and I wish I'd never done that. And even if you delete the email, it doesn't kill the bad feelings.
Or maybe I just need to develop a thicker skin....I dont know.
No comments:
Post a Comment